100+ Thoughts Of An American While Watching Eurovision Grand Finale

1. Delayed start, but we are in! Thank God!
2. I got to hear the whole of Netherlands performance and I love it!
3. Azerbaijan here we go!
4. Still sounds just like One in a Million from Miss Congeniality
5. Blonde back up dancer guy looks like sexy football stripper. And I am okay with that?
6. Didn't like the song, but your hair is amazing Azerbaijan.
7. I love Hungary's intro video.
8. Damnit, he does sound like Nickleback..
9. Back up whistlers on point.
10. Drum guy is the real star.
11. Back ups dancing like an early 2000's video game character
12. This one is so weird looking. Like why is there a dangling eye..?
13. It's cute. But is it win worthy? No way.
14. English or Italian. Pick one.
15. Turnip for what? Or is that a radish? Someone ask Michelle!
16. YES ISRAEL SLAY IM SO EXCITED
17. I LOVE the visuals on this one SO much!!
18. SO SPARKLY and it totally works!
19. And it rains fire!! YES!
20. Kind of not pumped for Bulgaria tbh
21. Poor girl had lipstick on her teeth!
22. She's amazing, but it's too much! And still sounds just like last year.
23. Smosh logo on her ears..
24. Light pants: cool, but silly.
25. Sweden! Haven't heard you yet!
26. He looks a tiny bit like Nathan Kress..?
27. Looks like he just had a cramp.? You okay Sweden?
28. This is just, meh really. It's boring.
29. The light show is making me totally not pay attention to the singer.
30. MISTAKE. DEVIL. LIES.
31. It just looks odd that Germany isn't not repping her own culture
32. Despite that, she's really talented and I really like the song!
33. France looks like a Jonas brother 
34. Just because you're France doesn't mean you can get away with the foreign language nonsense
35. It's okay. I don't love it. But it's not the worst. (cough, Poland)
36. I HATE Poland's song. And performer. He looks like Weird Al.
37. TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT AHHHHHH!
38. I'll tell you what color my light is when you tell me when you're getting a haircut.
39. What color is my life? Idk what's the color is bored?
40. Shark Tanks are cool.
41. So excited for Australia again!
42. Cool sparkly rock.
43. Still not sure who those faces are...
44. You keep sparkling to the sound of silence!!
45. YES GIRL BELT!
46. I do like Cyprus' different sound!
47. The cages are a little weird tbh.
48. Sounds like Somebody Told Me from The Killers!
49. Serbia seems like it's song is sort of anti-domestic violence? Am I the only one getting that?
50. But no shoes? WTF?!
51. Justin Bieber is back. I'm so excited. Can't you tell.
52. O: Sounds like Let It Go from Frozen.
53. Don't Let In, Don't Let Them See..!
54. I hate it when I lose my jacket in a foggy backflip.
55. Waiting for the dress to come off is so suspenseful...
56. AH YES! Still love that!
57. I really like that the background people arena't really a thing, just there for cape removal.
58. Time for Russia's song, I missed theirs the first time..
59. He's kind of hot.
60. OMG I LOVE CASTIEL
61. Okay the visuals are freaking amazing.
62. Still judging for that Just Dance thing they had there.
63. Wait what the hell how did he get up there?!
64. Espana!
65. Don't love the outfit, but it's very Spanish style.
66. I like her dancing! That's what I do.
67. Ayudame! I've fallen and I can't get up!
68. Latvia is really good, but it's just really good. It's not great. 
69. I didn't love Ukraine's performance as a whole, but I ranked them high because her voice is STUNNING. Stops me in my tracks every time.
70. Still spooks me as very cry for help sounding.
71. Malta's song is good, but sounds like it's something that's on US radio already.
72. Also this dancer guy is weird as hell.
73. Use of the term A-Okay
74. That dancer looks old.
75. Only four more thanks goodness.
76. Georgia is playing again and I'm getting flashbacks to Hollister.
77. And his hat is stupid.
78. Did he just give a shout out to his mom?! Okay, extra points for Georgia.
79. Austria looks like Avril Lavigne's cleaner sister.
80. Why is she signing in French. I'm confused
81. When you have Eurovision at 8, but prom at 9...
82. Austria borrowed from Lisa Frank I think.
83. Still, she was adorable.
84. UK's performers are the more musical, less awkward versions of Dan and Phil.
85. Why was Graham Norton's face on the stage?
86. Trying to leave the EU but sings about always being together get your message straight
87. Armenia this is weirdly sexual.
88. Hardcore wannabe Beyoncé
89. Still, I LOVE her lipcolor.
90. If Eurovision doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure Victoria's Secret would hire her.
91. This is slightly sexual and I am slightly uncomfortable.
92. Please can I be you Armenia? Like not Armenian, just to have your voice and looks and also that lipstick.
93. GANDALF I LOVE YOU
94. Burn! Petra killing it again!
95. Here is my top ten for Eurovision 2016 Finale:
96. Australia - Armenia - Israel - Belgium - Russia - Serbia - Netherlands - Croatia - Ukraine - Czech Republic
97. AHHHH JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!
98. Bulgaria why are you still lit up. And holding your phone not a flag.
99. I love ABBA so so much.
100. I didn't know some of these singers were Swedish! This is really cool!
101. That was a cute little documentary!
102. JUSTIN YES OH AND THE BEST SONG STARTING WITH A THROWBACK YES I LOVE IT
103. I vote USA to win Eurovision.
104. Updated: rankings:
105. USA. Just USA. We get all the points.
106. In all seriousness, Justin was a really great pick to represent the US at Eurovision.
107. Can't stop the rhythm, so just dance, dance, dance, dance! (Brief commentary interlude to dance to JT's new song with my dog)
108. This song is better than Sweden's actual entry.
109. Can I be Petra pretty please.
110. Man in hamster wheel and I am dying.
111. This amazing.
112. "Love love, peace, peace" Eurovision song or Miss America pageant?
113. Lynda is the extroverted side of my brain.
114. This is one hilarious Eurovision, go Sweden for this!
115. GO LYNDA! CROWDSURF TO YOUR DREAMS
116. This documentary is amazing.
117. If Donald Trump is elected, I'm moving to Sweden just for the sense of humor.
118. The guy ion the left looks like he could be John Cena's brother.
119. Heroooeoeoessssss! Wish he did the full act!
120. Okay, here we go!
121. The accents. I can't. Too cute.
122. This is so exciting! Australia definitely wins it!! I'm so excited!! She is adorable and a little awkward and it's precious.
123. THIS IS STRESSFUL
124. AUGHHHH IM SCREAMING
125. Wait who was the hot guy next to Sweden's singer??
126. THE SUSPENSE OH LORD
127. Thank god they took Poland out.
128. Please Say Russia. Please say Russia. Please say Russia.
129. NOOO RUSSIA NOOO
130. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
131. UKRAINE IS THE WINNER OF EUROVISION 2016!!

I hope you all enjoyed the attitude and critique filled internal commentary of the Eurovision 2016 Grand Finale. I absolutely loved the show and being able to reach out to so many people with my live blogging! Who knows, maybe this time next year, I'll be live on YouTube instead! I think it would be much more fun that way, don't you? Let me know what you think in the comments or on any of my social media links below! Until next time,

Writing to you from M, Personally! до побачення!