I spent the Friday of my Labor Day weekend by myself. In my room. Alone. Not even my roommate was here, she has plans in New York all weekend.
I wish I was like the girls I saw when I was opening my window earlier. Dressed up. Wearing shoes that I won't walk home in. Getting into the frat's carpool. Getting drunk. Dancing. Having "the best nigh everr" (yes, with two r's).
I wish I was like my (rather communistic) neighbors across the hall. Casually drinking and debating with a couple friends.
I wish I was like my next door neighbors. Two roommates, close friends, staying up late talking and hanging out all night.
I wish I was like my roommate last year, hanging out with all these really cool foreigners and looking fabulously foreign-stylish all the time.
But at the same time, I'm glad I'm not doing that. Because none of that is me. I don't really enjoy that. Yes, I like to dance. Yes, I like talking about serious topics with friends. Yes, I wish I had a best friend with me at school. Yes, I wish I had a practically star-studded friend group. But I don't. And that's okay! I'm finding my group now. I'm finding my people. My niche on campus.
Right now though, right now I'm not so okay with it all. I think I'm just feeling kind of lonely. My best friend is back home. My good friends here are hanging out with other people. My roommate is away. And the beau is currently out of contact, as per his line of work often leads him to be.
I don't often find myself feeling especially lonely. Most of the time it's by choice. And I'm okay with that, when it is the case. But tonight, not so much. After marathoning most of the first season of The West Wing on Netflix and repainting my nails with a new-ish Julep color, Shari, I realized that I am quite lonely. There's few things worse than having to be alone when all you want is a friend.
Not even a best friend or a good friend. Just another person to share some conversation with occasionally, you know?
Though I'll be honest, I could really use a good hug from a certain boyperson right about now. Not specifying though. Not tonight at least.
I need a hug and a mug of tea. That's on my list for a target trip, a tea pot. Even though it's hot out. it was definitely a tea day today..
And in honor of that, I'll leave you with a stock photo of a sweater and a mug. Can you tell I'm ready for fall already?
Until next time,
Writing to you from M, Personally
0 comments:
Post a Comment